


Only physically

by Un_kn_own



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Cheating, F/M, How Do I Tag, Ok this got a lot of Angst, Pls don't judge my English ;-;, Reader is not the MC, Reader is xxxxxxxx????, Sad, Self-Doubt, Self-Hatred, Spoilers, Suicide, This is my revenge hahaha, This was supposed to be a oneshot but oh well..., Wedding, What Have I Done, affair, angsty, seperate endings, why does everything I write turn out Angsty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-10-17 15:04:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10596489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Un_kn_own/pseuds/Un_kn_own
Summary: You have an only physically affair with Saeran, one of your only friends out of Mint Eye. However, he is not yours, and he can end his affair with you at any time._________happens a few years after the secret endings (well obviously MC is not Saeyoung's girlfriend here)





	1. Secrets

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Emi_chan98](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emi_chan98/gifts).



> My friend asked me to write ANYTHING that contains Saeran x MC so here you go fam. This is my sweet revenge, Love u 2 ♥  
>  **Also: MC = Sae's girlfriend // (y/n) = You**  
>  YES I KNOW THIS CUTIE WOULDNT CHEAT BUT FOR THE SAKE OF MY REVENGE HE IS DOING IT ANYWAYS ;O;  
> i also know im bad with titles but whatev

You wake up in the morning, still dizzy you open your eyes slightly only to close them again due to the sun shining through the window into your room. Turning on your side you try to find the person you slept with yesterday. You're not surprised to find the place empty. Yeah, that's right. He has a girlfriend. He's not yours. You're just the sidechick.

Of course, there were rules. The only major rule was that you weren't allowed to leave marks anywhere on his body, while he wasn't allowed in public spaces. Other rules were minor and changed from time to time.

You don't know why he's cheating. He seems so happy with her no one would ever suspect anything. Sometimes you wonder if you're the only one feeling guilty about this. But both of you still do it anyways. You don't know why, but one night you were out with him both of you got drunk and one thing led to another, the next thing you knew was that you woke up naked in your bed, right next to you, Saeran. You were shocked and scared at first but it turns out he didn't really mind.

You wonder if he has others next to you.

When your eyes got used to the light you made your way out of bed to start your usual morning routine. Arriving at the kitchen you decided to make some pancakes along with a cup of coffee. While enjoying your breakfast you read a few chapters of the new book you got for Christmas. A few pages into the book your phone starts going off.

**You received a text message!**

**From: Saeran**

**Are you hurt? I'm sorry. I was pretty stressed yesterday and didn't really thought before doing something.**

It was true. You were sore almost all over your body, but you couldn't tell him that. He's always so sweet to you. Every morning after a night you spent together he would ask if you were alright. It never matters what you did together, even when it was just making out, he'd always reassure that you were okay.

**To: Saeran**

**I'm fine, don't worry. ^^**

Sometimes you wonder if there is more between you and him- you literally hope for that at times, but quickly shove that thought away again. _He has a girlfriend, (y/n). Don't get dumb ideas._ You thought while swallowing down your last bit of pancakes.

After putting the dishes into the sink you walked over to the almost empty desk in the living room, ready to work. Yes, work. You work as a writer from home, since getting a real job would be much more stressing, you would be exhausted and always busy. Nope. Nothing for you. The legacy your father left was enough to make you quit your job. Yeah. Your father was a successful businessman who died in an Airplane crash, with two daughters, the younger was a successful businesswoman like her father, the older one though, she was a failure. You were a failure. An embarrassment. You would have only crushed the company anyways haha.

The beeping of your phone caught you off guard.

**You received a text message!**

**From: Saeran**

**Good to hear that. Could we meet in the upcoming days if possible? I have something to talk about with you privately.**

_He has to talk... privately?_ Fear was building up in you now, would he end the friendship you're having here? Did he tell MC? There were endless more thoughts going through your mind, sadly, all of them would end bad for you.

**To: Saeran**

**Privately? About what?**

You were scared. Scared of looking him in the eye while he ends your friendship. Even when it was just a guess, it was terrifying you. You didn't want to lose him. Although he is MC's, you want him all for yourself. You are a selfish person. You don't deserve him.

**You received a text message!**

**From: Saeran**

**It's about my relationship with MC and you. Please, I need to talk to you. Would tomorrow be okay?**

_Shit. Tomorrow?!_ Are you guessing right? Or is this all a misunderstanding and he just wants to clarify things? Did you do something wrong? _  
_

**To: Saeran**

**Okay**

There was no going back now. You can't run away from your problems every damn time. It's what you did until now, and it never made you happy, it only brought you more misery.

 

The rest of the day you actually only worked, and when you noticed it was already over 9pm you began to panic. Your meeting with Saeran was in less than a day, and its only getting closer. Deciding to try and relax a bit you went into the bathroom to take a shower, you needed to anyways, the smell of sweat and sex still lingered on you and it was getting quite frustrating.

The hot water running down your bare body made you relax your nerves a bit, still, the fear of tomorrow wasn't going away. Turning off the water you stepped out of the shower, the warm steam making the temperature in the room quite pleasant. With a towel you cleaned up the big mirror on the wall and looked at your bare body. Saeran had left marks all around your breasts and some between your legs, but he didn't break the rule what was soothing.

You chose to only wear your underwear tonight, since you didn't had any clean things in your wardrobe except for the clothes you had put out for tomorrow. Closing your eyes you drifted off into a deep slumber as you lied down on the soft material of the mattress.

 

 

The news the doctor told you just a few hours ago made you feel sick again. How would you live like this?? How would others react? Would she find out? Would you lose another person you love? Of course, you just calmed down and then there comes up another problem. Great. Your luck is really the best. You were now tired and exhausted, reason for that was the sick feeling you got in the middle in the night, when it started to hurt you called the emergency services.

When you got released from the hospital there was only half an hour left before your meeting with Saeran so you headed straight to the café you wanted to meet. You were there early so you ordered a large coffee and waited for Saeran to arrive.

After just a few minutes the bell of the door rang and you looked over to see him standing there in the door, looking around searching for you. When he finally spotted you he waved with a soft smile on his lips and made a bee line to the table you were sitting at. He sat down across from you and told the waitress his order. When she left there was an awkward silence for a few seconds, you were the first one to break it. "So.." You started your question nervously. "What is it you wanted to talk about?"

At first he just looked at you with an almost pained looking expression on his face but then sighed and made his first words too. "I... I'm engaged now.. And.. I think it's for the best to stop what we were doing until now." Your breathing stopped at his words. _Engaged!?_ You tried your best to sound as normal as you could. "Oh. Congratulations!" You smiled softly, hiding the tears that were building up in the corner of your eyes. He looked at you in shock. "Y- You're completely fine with it?"

_No._

"O- Of course! Our relationship was only physically after all." You said, still smiling. He sighed in relief. "Phew, I thought you would try to convince me to keep it up." He smiled nervously.

_Please. Stop._

"Well, uhh.. Do you wanna come to the wedding?" He now asked. "It's on the XX of Xuary."

"Sure. I'd love to."

_I'm begging._

"Well I have to go now, see you!" He stood up, and left.

_Don't leave me._

Tears were uncontrollably running down your face now. The waitress looked at you in concern and asked how she could be of help.

"..."

"He forgot his coffee."

* * *

The wedding was cheerful and took place in a church, since Saeyoung wanted it so much. You helped MC with her dress, hugged her, and watched her as she walked out of the room and in direction of the altar and Saeran, her future husband. The people on the benches stood up as the music began to play. You sneaked to a free place into the last row and joined the people in standing.

You watched the ceremony silently with a smile on your lips. It meant nothing, but it'd be enough to let others think you were fine.

You felt the tears streaming down your face again as the man you loved kissed his bride.

The woman who was the complete opposite of you.

Your younger sister.

It was making you feel so much sorrow.

...

...

...

The baby inside you didn't make you feel any better either.


	2. [[BRANCH]]

Decide.

* * *

**[[[Stay]]](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10596489/chapters/24927267)**

or

**[[[Leave city for a while]]](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10596489/chapters/23952375) **

or

**[[[Never come back]]](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10596489/chapters/24965556) **

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm planning on three endings, two when reader leaves the city, and one when she stays. Yes, I'm sorry this is a mess here ;o;


	3. Terrible mother. [Ending 1]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You decide it's for the best to not run away.
> 
> ______
> 
> THIS IS WHERE READER STAYS IN CITY OK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **[[READ THIS FIRST TO PREVENT CONFUSION]]**  
>  Saeran = Saeran Choi  
> Sae = Son of (y/n)  
> Only the first times he is named he'll be called Saeran.  
> I'm not sure if this counted for abuse... But since I really don't want anyone to be triggered I put it as a warning anyway.  
> Oh god this is shitty ok  
> Didn't proofread sorry too lazy :'')))))  
> Yes this is extremely confusing  
> I'm still planning on two endings so pls stay ;v;

The next few weeks have been hell for you.

  
Since the wedding you've only been at home locking yourself up. Even if Saeran or anyone tried to talk to you over the phone, you wouldn't say much, only that you were completely fine so they wouldn't send anyone. You've lost a lot of weight too. Even with the pregnancy, you could see the bones of your arms and legs and even some of your face. You knew it wasn't healthy and you needed to gain some weight again but you just couldn't. Every food you saw just made you want to throw up, except for one thing.

  
Alcohol.

  
Yeah, okay- This made you throw up too, but only when you drank too much of it. So you consumed it. Every. Single. Day since a few days or even weeks after the wedding. That was another thing. You often forgot time completely if you don't look at a calendar or your phone, which is the reason you have no idea which month of the pregnancy you currently are in. You could tell you were probably almost done, since you couldn't really miss out that round tummy.

  
You didn't quite care about the child since you were literally always drunk and couldn't think straight, but _he doesn't want the child anyways_ , was what you mostly thought. So you did that day in day out, until one day, a little boy was born. His hair was red like fire, and his eyes had this unnatural green which meant he must have inherited some of Mint eyes drugs' side effects. The name you gave him, was Saeran.  
You didn't care about that at first, neither you cared later on. In fact, the tiny person living with you for the next few years wasn't your son, but Saeran.  
   
   
   
With each year passing your alcohol addiction only grew worse, and you stopped letting the nineteen-year old go out anymore, in fear anyone you knew would find out. But he refused. He'd often sneak out when you were drunk or passed out and it doesn't matter how often you taunt him, he'll always do it again.

 

  
Today he's out again, and you are drunk, as usual. Quietly waiting for him to return while sitting on the small chair in front of your computer you used for work. You had just finished another chapter of one of your ongoing stories when the backdoor opened. Standing up you took hold of your half full wine bottle and stumbled towards the sound of the footsteps.

  
"Where have- hic- you been sweetie?" The boy tensed up at your voice coming from behind. "Ah- Mom I--"  
"(y/n)." You said angrily. The sweat on his forehead visibly told you he was nervous. "Uhm- Right.. I-I'm sorry... (y/n).." You smiled satisfied as your name left Sae's lips. "You do remember I-hic- forbid you to leave the house, right?" You started to stumble instead of walk towards him while taking a big sip out of your wine bottle, leaving it almost empty when you retreated it from your mouth. You noticed he had taken a few steps back when you approached him, but that didn't matter. He was already taller than you and definitely better build. His body was somewhat muscular and not as fragile and broken as yours. He looked like his father just a little younger.

  
Actually, you haven't seen your sister nor her oh so beloved husband for a long time. Probably about one year has gone since your last meeting. They'd sometimes check on you but did less after a few years. They probably think you hate them because of how much you're avoiding them. Still, every time they visit you lock Sae into a room, if he refuses you'd begin to cry so he gives in.  
"Ye-s but- It won't happen again I swear mom!" Your smile faded and your gaze shifted to the ground as tears started to pour down your cheeks. "You're lying." You said in a fragile, broken and silent tone. "Mo- (y/n)-! Please don't cry! I- I..." You could see how much he tried to comfort you, even though you knew he didn't even love you.

  
He was simply scared.

  
That's all.

  
_He hates me._

  
One day he'll just vanish into thin air.

  
_And then I'll be alone again._

  
This was probably the fact you feared the most. To be left alone again. It's not like Saeran was yours, he never was. You did love to be near him and you didn't care what your relationship to each other was at that time, as long as you could have him for even just a moment to yourself. But he chose your sister, you have no right to complain.

  
You were startled when you felt your child's warm embrace. "D-don't worry... I.. I know what you're thinking.. But- I won't leave... I promise.. Mom.." The next few moments were a blur, there was a loud noise... A scream? Your hands hurt a bit, and there was red.

  
On the floor.

  
On your hands.

  
On him.

  
And then you collapsed.  
   
   
   
 

 

  
"Shouldn't we check up on her again sometime?" The green eyed man asked. "After all.. It's been a year. And I haven't heard anything about her either." The brunette frowned as if she was in deep thought. "You're completely right. I wouldn't forgive myself if something happened to her." She stood up and made a beeline to the wardrobe, starting to put on shoes. "What- Now?"  
"Yes. Now."  
"Why that?" The male cocked an eyebrow, clearly confused why she was in such a hurry. "It's late you know... She's probably asleep already."  
"Don't care."  
"What the fuck is going on with you??" He was already at the wardrobe to make an attempt to comfort her, since she looked quite worried.  
"I have a bad feeling."  
"A bad feeling? That's all?"  
"Are you coming with me now or not?"

  
...

  
"Don't argue with me if she really is asleep."  
   
   
   
   
 

  
You woke up in the bathroom. In the tub, to be exact. The blank white ceiling was the first thing you saw, then it was Sae, hovering above you. Your sight was still blurred for a little while, but after some time you could make out your surroundings somewhat clear. Sae had a few red stains on his clothes, there was also a bandage around his head, just like his clothes, slightly red. Then you looked down into the water, well- if you could call it that. The water was red, almost opaque.

  
You hissed at the sudden sharp pain on your forehead. It was only then you realized Sae was holding a cloth against it. In an attempt to shove his hand away you failed, his arms were too strong to even move them a centimeter away. "It's for disinfection. It'll only hurt more if you don't go through this now." You looked blankly into his eyes while he said that, still a little confused about the situation. "What happened..?"   
.  
.  
.  
"You passed out and accidentally hit me with the wine bottle."

  
_You're lying._

  
"I'm.. So sorry..."

  
He smiled softly at you, it hurt to know that you didn't deserve it. "Don't be.. It's not your fault." He retreated the fabric from your wound and put it to the side. "So, all cleaned up again." He stood up and took the first aid kit with him. "I put some fresh clothes out for you... I'll take over some things in the household while you stay in bed.. okay?" Before you even answered he was already gone, so you stepped out of the tub and began drying yourself. The clothes he had left you were simply a pair of pajama pants and a shirt, nothing really special.

  
As you made your way through the hallway you heard a loud thud from the kitchen, followed by a silent swear. "What was that..?" You peeked around the corner and noticed your son picking up pots and pans from the floor, probably the cause of the loud noise. After he put them away he quickly approached you. "Ah- Mom.. Please go to bed, would you? I was just making you a-" There was a terrible smell in the air, which you immediately recognized. "Soup." Shoving the tall person in front of you away you made a beeline to the countertop, ready to take overhand in this mess. Looking down at the bad excuse of a soup you thought for a moment he tried to poison you, but you've seen his cooking, and this is still a mild version of the really bad stuff he makes.

  
"You really can't cook."

  
"How about you teach me?"

  
"How about you dispose this broth first?"

  
After you both started on a new soup together, it came out much better, and in the end there was more than enough for the both of you. When you look back at it now it was probably one of the happiest and most normal things you ever did together, cooking.  
Before, you always tried to keep distance between each other, but that seemed to be in the past at that point. It was a warm and happy feeling to do things like a normal family, and in all honesty you could have gotten used to it. But.. Something was still missing.

And that was his father.

 

 

 

 

"Why is it so fucking cold?!"

The woman giggled at his question. "It's not even that cold."

"It is cold! How can you even walk around with those thin clothes?!" She could see that he shivered even with his leather jacket. MC sighed with a soft smile and continued on her way. "Let's just go, okay? How about I cuddle you so you feel a little warmer?" Before he could even say something MC already had her arms thrown around her lover from behind and he immediately lifted her on his back to prevent both of them from falling. "What the fuck?!" She let out another giggle. "Now you can carry me to my sister! That will definitely warm you up a bit~"

"You do remember I'm over fucking forty years??"

"And? We may not be the youngest but you seem to be able to carry me without problems, so? Come on~ It's not even that far away now~"

Saeran sighed in defeat and continued to walk.

"Why didn't we use the fucking car again...."

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

 

 

 

 

 

"Are you sure you want to do all this..?" You asked worried. Your son may be nineteen years old.. but he never really did laundry, cleaning or anything else. And you really didn't want to have the colors of your clothes mixed or everything soaked in water and cleaning supplies. "Don't worry! I'm never going to disappoint you from now on!" He added with a heartwarming smile. "And you rest now. You need the sleep."

"But..."

"Nah! Sleep. Now." You pouted as his attitude. He treated you as if you were a five year old. But still, you felt tired, so you stopped resisting and lied down on the soft sheets. Closing your eyes you heard the faint sound of your son wishing you a good night.

You couldn't sleep though.

The night seemed endless. It may have been already early in the morning... But the sun's absence told you it was probably only about after two in the morning. You could still hear Sae trying to be as quiet as he could as he did chores, and felt the frustration in you growing.

You wanted alcohol.

You needed it.

The reason for it of course, was unknown to you. The urge was just to strong to ignore it, so you stopped fighting it and proceeded on your way to the door of your room. You had to make sure Sae didn't see you, it would upset him, and that was the last thing you wanted to be responsible for. So you waited until the footsteps made their way upstairs, and hushed in direction of the cellar as soon as you closed the door behind you. The cellar was.. Cold. But it wasn't really bothering you. You were used to it, really.

The few rooms of the dark place were mostly filled with wine or other alcoholic drinks, other things were old clothes or lots of random stuff nobody would pay a cent for. You made your way to one of the rooms filled with lots of wine, but in the dark, so you wouldn't be found that easily. Sitting down on the cold stone floor of the houses cellar, you opened the wine bottle with one of the many openers lying around, and began to let the sweet-bitter liquid run down the inside of your throat.

 

 

Sae discovered you after your fourth bottle, almost five. You were so drunk that all you could think of was that he looked worried, a little hint of upset maybe, but no anger. The rest were just feelings of having to throw up, or headache. As his warm hand touches yours he tensed up. "You're freezing! Come on you'll get sick like this!" As he tried to take the bottle away from you you slapped his hand away immediately, not caring if it hurt or not. At first he just looked at the reddish spot on his hand and then back to you, determined to take away that bottle. When he reached out again you used your feet, kicking him in any spaces you could reach. This seemed more like you were the young adult, and he the caring parent, sadly, you were the mother who should be a role model for him, not the depressed abomination that drowns all her insecurities in alcohol.

Right after your kicking stopped, his hands were almost at the bottle trying to yank it away, but you were faster, and in a flash, you smashed the bottle at him aiming for the head, hitting his forehead. The bottle crashed into tiny and bigger shards, cutting a bit of your hand open. You looked down at your little bloodied hand, then at the young man, now holding his hand against the large red pool on his head. His expression drawn in pain.

The view didn't satisfy you.

You took another empty bottle and as quick as light shattered it on his head. He gave out a scream in misery, the laceration aggravating itself. In his attempt to flee, you crushed a third bottle on the back of his head, knocking him unconscious. You slowly and carefully gotten nearer and nearer to Sae's motionless body, only late realizing what you even had done. A pure expression of horror took over your face as you now reached out for him, as if he was far away. Your sweaty hands trembled against his ice cold skin, the pool of blood on the floor drowning parts of your fresh washed pajamas in pure red.

A moment later, you were already on your way upstairs, desperate to find any device which you could use to call emergency services. When you finally found one, you had mistyped a few times due to the trembling until you finally got it right, a man answered. You told him everything he needed to know, until one question made you hesitate.

_"How did he get the injuries?"_

For a few seconds that felt like an eternity, you said nothing, then, finally answered.

"I did it."

" _You?"_

"I shattered three wine bottles on his head."

The man on the other line was completely silent by now, as if he needed to process what you just had said.

"Understood. We will be there as soon as we can. Stay calm."

"Thank you..."

 

 

 

The pain you felt was indescribable. You had often cut yourself, but this was beyond anything you had ever experienced. Another stab to your chest made you cry out in agony. The tears blurred your sight, the blood loss made you feel dizzy. You could feel your own blood slowly starting to choke you from the inside. As the pain took overhand, you rolled yourself together and lied next to Sae on the ground cherishing your last moments with your son. Before you stabbed yourself, you first attempted to stop the bleeding and after you did everything you could, there was nothing left for you here. He'd hate you after he wakes up. If any of your little amount of friends found out, those included Saeran and your sister, they'd be disgusted of you. And not even that was enough. You were a threat. A constantly drunken threat to everyone.

It's funny you thought. You always hated those alcohol addicted people, and you still do.

Your lips curved into a smile as you thought about your many memories you made together with Saeran, when you were still together at Mint Eye. You may haven't been there for as long as he was, and you knew how much he suffered under those memories, but you knew that he was happy at some points.

But after he moved in with his brother... When he got to know MC... She made him happier than you ever could. She was sociable and loving, you were just a whore whose body he wanted to ravish.

With all your energy, you heaved yourself up and gave your son a small kiss on his forehead. some of your tears falling down onto his face.

"I love you, Saeran."

Then you fell back again. You weren't sure if this was addressed to your son or his father, but either way, it was true. You loved both of them with all your heart. Saeran had won over it while the years in Mint Eye passed by, and Sae took over it as soon as his eyes met yours for the first time. You brokenly laughed in happiness at the thought of the birth. It's been a long, and sorrowful time, but you cherished every second of your memory that contained both Saeran's. Slowly closing your eyes you already heard the ambulances coming nearer.

And then...

went everything black.

 

 

 

 

 

"Come on we're almost there!" She laughed, but stopped when she looked at the ambulances in front of her sisters house. Her grip on Saeran tightened as terrible thoughts rushed through her mind. "What..." Before Saeran could end his sentence MC already struggled herself free from his grip and ran over as fast as possible. He quickly followed her. As she tried to get any information on what happened out of a man, Saeran made his way to the house, someone was being shoved out, a young redhead, he looked like him, another one was brought, he couldn't see who the person was because of blankets covering them. But didn't that mean..

"Saeran!" His attention was caught by his screaming wife. She was crying. "We can drive with them to the hospital! Come on!"

 

 

 

The waiting was long and painful. There was almost nobody else than the employees there, and it was already about five in the morning. A glimpse of fear was going through MC's body when the doctor finally entered the waiting room. His blood stained clothes and his expression told the married couple nothing about the results. "You are her family?"

"I'm her sister-MC. And.. This is my husband, Saeran."

"Then... I'm really sorry I have to say this but.. Her wounds were too deep. There was nothing we could have done to save her. I am genuinely sorry."

"Who!" Both men tensed up at her sudden shouting. Her expression looked far from angry, it looked broken and sad. The tears were pouring down her face without hesitation, it was clear she cared deeply for you. "Who... Who did this to her...?" The doctor looked at her for a moment, than began to speak. "I'm afraid to tell you, but it was most likely suicide."

"S-suicide?!" Saeran was the first one to respond.

"Someone told me she called the emergency services to rescue a certain.. Saeran. When they found both of them in the cellar she held the knife that was inside her chest, and there were also no other fingerprints on the handle, according to the police. "Saeran..?"

"A nineteen year old. He was attacked by her. Attacked by his mother."

"Mother?!!"

The doctor looked dumbfounded at her. "Aren't you her sister? Didn't she ever tell you?"

"No..."

"Can we see her?"

"Of course. Follow me."

 

 

 

 

MC didn't even stand the dead body of her sister more than 15 minutes, and was now waiting for Saeran in the hall to return too. When he finally returned he embraced her tightly and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead. For a few more minutes, he only tried to comfort her as much as possible, until he finally told her what the doctor told him. "We can see him if you want. He's in room 626." She didn't answer at first, seeming as if she didn't even heard what he said, but agreed with a nod and aimed for the room.

 

She stopped her movements right before she gripped the handle. "This... Saeran..." She began. "He's all we have left of her.." Holding back the tears she opened the door with all her courage and stepped inside. The red haired looked out of the window while he was sat in the hospital bed, seeming to not notice his family's presence. He looked as if he had cried a lot, his eyes were red, and there was no hint of happiness in his expression. His voice sounded broken and far away.

"Hey.. Dad... MC..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

**Bad ending  
**

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god what the fuck is this


	4. Happy Ending? [Ending 2]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  ~~I am the baddest at giving names don't judge me~~ It was like 2am when I started rewriting this for the fourth fucking time and now it's like goddamn 5am I am so done fuck it I'm just going to post it now and I wanna straight out say I feel like this has gotten completely shitty and i didn't proofread have fun uwu  
>  ~~Oh god this is so horrible~~

You had sworn it.

Sworn yourself to never come back.

Someone pleading wouldn't help.

And that was it. People were pleading you to come back.

But you couldn't.

You could never come back.

It all started after you left the note explaining why you had left.

**Dear person who finds this note,**

**You are probably one of the people I love and cherish the most, but I'm afraid to tell you I won't be home for likely a long time. Whatever you must think now, please don't follow me. I'm begging you. Don't come near me.**

**(y/n)**

They immediately contacted you when MC found the note, it was only a few weeks into the pregnancy, and the thought that they wouldn't find out soothed your anxiety. They accepted your decision only hardly, making you promise to get in touch with them at least one time in a month, which you sometimes forgot about, what led to them being all worried and upset. Their behavior was frustrating you, but it couldn't be helped, so you went on with it, until finally your tiny boys were born.

You didn't expect twins, what was making everything a little more difficult. Especially when you needed to call your sister. It was hard to keep them a secret, and it was stressing you every time. You had to take care of both children in a little house close to the outskirts. There weren't many people, but you somehow got used to your neighbors. They were really nice people, had children themselves but never really invited you over, so you did the same and kept your distance. Your sons though, they brought you back to socialize again. It wasn't often, but enough for you. There were other children their age, and after time they really enjoyed playing together on the quiet streets where almost no one ever drove by.

That has been going on for five whole years. But with each day passing, your feelings for Saeran just wouldn't go away. You remember it like it was yesterday. How you spent the nights together in bed, even if it wasn't lovemaking and simply to pleasure the both of you, you loved those nights. They made you feel like... You were needed.

But you knew that those times were long over. Saeran stopped what you had been doing the day you met up at the Café, and you had to accept that. Your feelings for each other weren't mutual, Saeran loved your sister, shouldn't his happiness make you happy?

 

 

The feelings for your sons were difficult to describe. You loved them with all your heart, and would never do anything to harm them. After all, you made them with Saeran, even if it was unlawful, and not out of love. But they will always remain at your side and are the only things you have left from his 'love'. On the other hand though, they're the reason you even left. If MC would find out about them, it would shatter their marriage, and break her heart. That was the last thing you wanted to happen, so you kept them a secret.

Until now.

You didn't intend to let any of them know, but Min-jae and Duljjae were currently playing outside while you sat on the terrace when an unexpected visitor showed up in front of your house. At first you didn't think much about it, but when you looked again, you noticed the oh so familiar black and yellow striped glasses on the bridge of the redhead's nose.

Saeyoung.

 

He was seriously the least you expected to come here, and for a moment you thought that either MC or Saeran had sent him, but as it appears later, both of them didn't even know he's here. You told him to go home but he refused and bombed you with arguments why you should let him stay, such as 'I needed four hours to get here, do you really want to send me away again?' with pouts and puppy eyes, in the end you gave up and he joined you on the terrace. He told you how everyone misses you, and desperately hopes you'd come back one day, including himself. The hours slowly passed by while you talked about every kind of topic you could think of. Including one which almost made you spit out your drink.

"And?" He said with a slight smug grin on his face. "Did you find someone special you never told us about in those few years?"

_Seriously, this was unnecessary._

"No." He pouted at your boring response. A new idea curved his lips into a smile. "Huh. Thought all the guys would run after such a smart and sexy young lady~"

You choked on your drink.

Coughing the liquid out you could tell you were redder than his fucking hair. _Sexy?!_ He laughed.

"Now, this is the kind of response I wanted to get from you~" You knew he was a jokester, but you never knew he could be that bold.

"D-don't say such things!"

"Hm? Why not?" He gave you an innocent smile as he lightly shifted his head as if he was confused. "I'm just saying that I think you're really intelligent and hot--"

**"Stop."**

"-What is so wrong with talking about facts?"

_Oh my god-_

"Just- Don't. Don't say that. Or you can go home immediately." You were positive you already boiled out of embarrassment, but you couldn't care less when sudden shouting interrupted your conversation. "Mommy! Mommy look! White butterfly!" Your gaze shifted to the source of the voice, panic painting your expression. Running towards you both was Min-jae, dirt-covered knees revealing he stumbled a lot again, hands held together forming a ball. When he finally arrived he completely ignored the red haired hacker next to you, slowly opening his hands to show you what he had caught. It was a white butterfly with small black grayish spots on each side, which flew away only a few moments after he opened his hands. He giggled a bit, what brought a slight smile to your face, which quickly faded as you looked at your visitor. 

His wide opened eyes were completely focused on your son, his expression written in disbelief.

"Who is he?" The older twin had stopped laughing by now, questioningly pointing to Saeyoung, seeming to finally notice him.

"Ah- Min-jae would you go inside for now--"

 **"You have a son?!!"** You tensed up at Saeyoung's unexpected shouting.

"Uhh-- No?"  You tried to lie, even though you knew it was far behind possible to talk that off now.

"Mommy made a friend!"

Behind Saeyoung's seat was now another tiny child. Duljjae. His eyes seemed to shine with excitement. Saeyoung turned around to look at him eyes still wide in shock. His hand shot up to point at him and then at Min-jae in a rotatory manner. You quickly hushed over to the tiny redhead and took him by the hand, the same with the other one, leading both of them inside the small house.

When you came back Saeyoung seemed to be back to normal, still, it looked like he had seen a ghost. You sat down next to him, nervously looking everywhere but his eyes, positive it would make this much more awkward.

"So... What were we talking about--?"

"Are they the reason you left?" You stocked. _He got behind it?_ "W-what are you talking about- I--" 

"Who did this to you?"

"What-"

"Who did this?!"

"No that's not--"

"Don't lie to me (y/n)..." He grabbed your shoulders, his eyes boring into yours. His voice wavered with anger, about to lose his self-control. "Whoever did this to you... I'll make him regret it."

"It's not what you think please-"

"Then what happened?!? Tell me already!"

"I would if you wouldn't interrupt me every time!" You shouted louder than you had planned to.

"Alright. I listen now."

It took you a moment to realize in what situation you got yourself. Saeyoung was obviously waiting impatiently for your answer. You didn't know what to do. He'll definitely tell his brother if you open up to him. But he won't give up that easily if you wouldn't say anything. You shifted your gaze to the ground.

"Promise me you won't tell anyone. Not even your brother." There was a moment of silence, the passing by seconds feeling like an eternity. Suddenly, he lifts your face up as he grabbed your chin, not giving you a choice to look somewhere else but him. His expression serious, nervous. "I won't tell anyone. Promise." You felt the tears blurring your vision, Saeyoung's features becoming unclear, now indistinguishable with his brother.

.

.

.

"Saeran..."

 

"W-What?!" His sudden disbelief pulled you back into reality. "S-saeran did this?!? He's their father?!!" He seemed totally lost at this point, not like before when he was full of anger for the one who got you pregnant. "Y-yes, please don't tell him!" You really wished you could go back in time and prevent what has happened, but there was no such chance, so you had to make sure he wouldn't tell Saeran now. 

"HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW?!!"

 

 

For almost an hour you tried your best to explain what has happened between you and Saeran, and hoped desperately he wouldn't tell anyone. He didn't took it very well though.

"I don't get it... Why would he even do that.." You heard him mumbling under his breath. "God... And all because you didn't want to come between them?"

"What else should I have done?" You felt your eyes wetting again. "I found out the day he told me they were engaged. Should I have said 'Oh that's great! But you will still stay with me and our child right?'" The sarcastic tone in your voice sounded far from funny but bitter and broken. Next thing you knew were his arms around you, pulling you into a close embrace. "Your right." He gave out a light chuckle. "That would've been a terrible idea." As he stroked strains of your hair with one hand now, the feeling so soothing made you fall asleep in his arms.

 

 

 

 

"(Y/n)?"

"(Y/n), wake up~" You tiredly opened your eyes, only to be met with Saeyoung's golden ones. Heaving yourself up you rubbed your eyes and looked around. You were in your bed, Saeyoung sitting on the edge next to you. His warm smile seeming nothing like him.

"You slept almost two hours.. I- I hope you don't mind I brought you here hah... Also!- I brought Min-jae and Duljjae to bed too, I checked just before, they are sleeping peacefully inside their beds.." You giggled at his nervousness, a slight blush rising to your cheeks. "It's fine.. I should thank you, Saeyoung." His features relaxed again and he smiled. You wished you could do more than just thank him, he's done so much for you, even though you never asked for it. 

 

 

For a few more seconds there was a soothing and comfortable silence between the two of you, the orange dusk shining through the curtains into your room.

"Well- uh.." He cleared his throat with an awkward laugh. "It's getting dark and I need to get home before MC starts bombarding me with questions about where I was-..." You smiled slightly at his excuse to get away, your sister was always like this. Gets worried over nothing and everyone, always needs reassurance that everything was fine. She really was a lovable and kindhearted person.

Though, you didn't want him to leave yet. You didn't know why, but his presence was making you feel different, warmer. Something your sons never accomplished. He closed a gap in your heart just by coming along to see how you were doing.

You caught back into reality when he stood up. "W-Wait-!" You were surprised at the desperation in your tone. Grabbing his wrist you stopped his movements. He looked over his shoulder to you, his slightly frowning expression clearly questioning your actions.

"I... I..." It was odd. There were already tears brimming at the corner of your eyes. How much did you want him not to leave? "Would you stay for the night... Please..?" He looked at you with a completely dumbfounded expression, did this come over weird? God- Of course it did-! How could you be so stupid--!

"If.. You want me to.." It sounded more like a question than an answer. Though, you couldn't care less about that, you were happy he was staying with you.

 

 

The night went on with both of you playing several types of board or card games together on your bed, sometimes checking if Min- and Duljjae wouldn't be awakened by you. You were thankful for the soundproofed walls in the small house, it was making things much easier.

At one point you can't remember you decided to drink some wine, which resulted in you drinking almost the whole bottle, while Saeyoung was at his fourth can of Ph. D. Pepper. He kept holding you back from getting another bottle, since you were already pretty drunk. Normally you would only have a glass or two, not the whole bottle. You needed to look after your kids after all.

It was really strange how Saeyoung was acting, he was still the prankster like always, but he stuttered at times and then became a blushing mess out of embarrassment. It was cute in your opinion, still, really unlike him. At least not how you remember.

  
Your eyes kept darting to his face, oh how he looked just like _him._

 

Though, there was one thing that kept distracting you from your thoughts. You took one of his cards as you were currently playing old maid, unfortunately grabbing the joker.

"Saeyoung~ could you take off your glasses for a moment... Oh!- And close your eyes..?" You giggled lightly, still a little drunk from all the wine. He looked surprised at your sudden request, but in the end accepted.

"Well- okay..." He put his cards upside down onto the soft sheets before taking off his yellow black striped glasses and closing his eyes. "Why do you want me to do that anyway..?"

Before you could answer his question you were already lost in your thoughts and reached out to cup his face with one hand, while the other one creeped up under his shirt, pushing him down onto the bed. His eyes shot open and he inhaled sharply to say something, but before he could complain you covered his lips with your own.

His lips were soft, softer than how you remember. His taste was different too. It wasn't like the sweet taste of candy, or the disgusting but still intoxicating one of cigarettes. It was different.

Then it hit you.

Almost instantly, you broke the kiss, eyes shot open in horror, never leaving the golden surprised ones in front of you.

For a moment... You thought he was Saeran!

"I- ... I'm so sorry..!!" You almost cried out, your hands retreated to yourself, now shaking uncontrollably. Your position on top of him wasn't making things better.

And even more terrifying, you'd have probably continued if this wasn't Saeyoung.

You were already on the verge of tears when he was sat up and holding you in a tight embrace.

"I-- I'm so sorry... I thought-"

"Shh... You're drunk. Everything is fine..." 

For the following few minutes both of you have just been sitting quietly together, the redhead stroking your hair to calm you down a bit, what apparently worked. You had stopped sobbing a while ago, and now just relished the comforting warmth of someone elses embrace. It had been quite some time since you were able to feel this kind of warmth when somebody just hugged you like this, all your fears simply vanishing in this moment, as if everything was perfect.

It came to the point you almost fell asleep in his arms, but got caught out of your fatigue by his soothing voice.

"What... What are you planning to do now actually..?" You looked up at him with a confused frown painting your face.

"What do you mean?"

God, even with his red hair and golden eyes, he looked so much like Saeran without his glasses. Was this your punishment?

"I mean- like.. What will you do when they're asking about their.. well... father? And even... How will you keep them a secret forever?"

Oh.

Now you get where he is trying to go.

"I guess I'll have to find an excuse."

_Like always._

"Maybe even get married someday." You felt him tense up a little at your last sentence.

"Oh- Right.. Do you have someone you like- except Saeran actually?" Even though you weren't looking, you could hear the forced smile in his voice, it was unbearable.

You knew he was interested in you, or was he? You weren't quite sure, but what was then with all of the affection? All of his compliments, how much he cared for you, and listened even though you lied to him and the others all those years. Or were you just imagining things?

Either way, you were unsure if you were ready for something like this. You planned to leave all of them behind and never let anyone from your past know of your unlawful children. It just... Felt wrong.

"Maybe... If you want.."

The words left your mouth without much thought, you didn't want to stay like this. You wanted a change, you wanted your happiness back. You were a greedy person. You didn't plan much further than asking, hell, you expected him to reject you.

But...

.

.

.

"You would really want a life with me?"

You were speechless if that's the right thing to say. The way the hacker had said those words sounded far sadder than they actually were.

Cupping his cheek with one hand you looked up at him, into his eyes, You couldn't get distracted by his other features now. He tensed up a bit as your lips finally covered his, but soon after returned the kiss, his hands grasping you like his life depended on it. You could feel how happy he seemed to be, his smile only growing wider with every kiss he could plant on you, and every giggle he could get out of you.

This was different than what you had with Saeran, and you were enjoying it, quite a bit actually. There was no guilt, you wouldn't need to keep this a secret. Is this what you wanted all this time..?

 

 

You woke up completely dazzled from the light shining through your curtains. Shifting a little under your blanket you searched for the person you spent the night with. You giggle happily as his warmth surrounded you in a hug. His scent sweaty not bothering you at all.

"Good morning (y/n)~"

 

 

The several missed calls from your sister to Saeyoung didn't surprise you at all, but even with everything that's happened you somehow worked it out, now everyone knows about your and Saeyoung's relationship, that you live together, but still nothing about your sons. It will take a while until you got the courage to tell them- if you ever will, but that can wait for now.

You needed to get over Saeran and become happy, this was your chance for it. Saeyoung loved you, even though you're still questioning why someone like him would find any interest in you.

 

Today was a nice day. The twins were playing with the neighbors kids, Saeyoung told you to rest a bit and relax on the terrace for now while he was planting new flowers in the garden, since it seemed a little empty to him.

You were deep in your thoughts as you looked up to the clouded blue sky, thinking about what was going to happen now.

Saeyoung was there.

He was there for you, doing his best to make you happy.

 

But...

 

Would you ever be satisfied with it?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

**Normal Ending**

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to those two people suggesting a Saeyoung ending lol.  
> Well... There is still one ending to go... ~~I actually have it finished in my drafts but eh...~~


	5. Dada!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years after Saeran and MC got married, someone finds out you are back in town. However, you don't come alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya!!  
> I'm sorry this took so long but school and friends and hobbies and all that took away all the time to write ;-;   
> I wasn't sure if I should change the rating but since it isn't really explicit I just kept mature here :v  
> Well, enjoy! :D

You watched the colors of the sunset in the sky, the rolling by landscape only gets your attention when you're stopping by another station. Your eyes blinked over to the small screen showing which station you currently are at. _Only two left._ You thought, as you continued watching out of the window.

The train was almost completely empty by the time it started moving again. There were only a few people left, some of them seemed to be business people that work at night,-you could tell because of their clothing and the repeated glancing at the time, it's what you always did years ago- others were just people who were going home late you guessed, and a few were searching through the train to maybe find money.

You looked at the small figure in your arms. She was with you for about 14 months now. Her short red hair was messy and her (e/c) eyes were looking tiredly up at you. The result of an affair with your sisters husband. When you first held her in your arms, it was a moment of happiness and sorrow mixed together, what left you smiling with joy, and crying tears of guilt.

You stare down at her in concern. _They will notice. They will definitely notice._ You feared your sisters and Saeran's reaction when they first will see your daughter, Hyejin. She looked so much like him it was obvious. The only difference was that she had your shining (e/c) eyes. Everything else was similar to him, her hair, her smile... It was.. Worrying.

What would you even do when she's asking who her father really was? Would you say "Oh, I accidentally got pregnant when I was involved in an affair with your aunts husband haha."

...

The thought of that made you feel disgusted of yourself.

You just hoped nobody would ask.

A part of you didn't want to actually go back, but you knew you just couldn't always run away.  

You've been gone for almost two years now, it was about time you showed up again.

And maybe... Luck is on your side once... And everything will work out.

 

 

As you entered your old house, a wave of cold air made you shiver. It was colder than outside. You tried to turn on the light, what apparently didn't work. _Right. I haven't paid for anything in the last two years. There will be no electricity until next month._ While thinking of a solution, you went outside again. _We can't live here without any electricity. Especially not Hyejin._ _Maybe a hotel? Ah... That would be too expensive until next month..._ You continued to think as the Moon shined bright through the clouds on the night sky. There was only one option left.

 

_Ding Dong._

"Please answer 'Defender of Justice!' in Arabic."

Yes, of course. Saeyoung really will always keep that silly door. It may be made for security reasons, but it was beyond annoying for you. You ringed the door bell again. It was past midnight now. _They must be asleep already._ You thought. Maybe you should knock. "Saeyoung?" You hoped you wouldn't wake Hyejin with your doings. "It's me, (y/n)!"

 

"-oung!" Another knock. "-ease! Open the door!" Who would visit at such a time?!

The redhead groaned and slowly made his way out of bed. "Gahhhh... I'm coming I'm coming..." Walking through the halls of the bunker, another knock. "Saeyoung! Please open the door already!" That voice was somehow familiar. He grabbed for the doorknob and unlocked it. Before him there were a woman with a child in her arms. There was an awkward silence which the hacker used to think of who she could be. She looked kind of like--

"(y/n)?!"

You smiled. "Nice to see you too, Saeyoung. Could I come in..?" The smile didn't last long. "Ah! Uhmm-- Sure!" He smiled back nervously, and stepped aside so you could enter. It smelled like Honey Buddah Chips, just like before. You haven't met Saeyoung often since you only knew him from your sister and Searan, but the few times you visited their home it always smelled like those fucking chips. It wasn't that bad at first, but the more you visited, the more you wondered how anyone could possibly live here without dying.

"Do you want something to drink?" The males voice ripped you out of your flashbacks. "Hm? Oh... A glass of water would be nice..." You sat down on the couch, your daughter still in your arms. Thankfully, she was still sleeping tight.

Soon after, Saeyoung came back with your water. He handed it to you and sat down next to you. The silence continued for a few minutes, until you broke it.

"Did Saeran and MC move out?" It was weird that only Saeyoung heard you, they would have at least asked who it was. 

"Yeah.. They moved out some time ago, so I live alone again." He gave a somehow sad smile. You didn't respond to it and sipped at your drink.

"Would you mind if I stay here until next month?" You finally asked. "We don't have any electricity for now, and it's too cold for living there."

"Sure, you can sleep in the guest room... Well, I... don't have a place for the little one here..." He hesitated to say it but you already had a solution to this.

"It's fine, don't worry." Everything you said was so emotionless you wondered if he really believes you for being (y/n). You actually changed so much--

"(Y/n)? Is... Everything alright? You seem.. uhm... Somehow very sad.."

"I'm completely fine Saeyoung." You answered in your nicest way possible, even gave him a smile. "I've just changed over time."

Saeyoung gave you a sad looking frown. "Then you changed to a quite unwell person."

_What..?_

"You lost weight."

"That's just--"

"You have very visible dark bags under your eyes."

"It's because-"

"Your behavior is much colder than before."

"..."

**"You left without telling anyone."**

"Just... Why?" He barely found words. "Do you even know how much your sister cried when she heard you somehow just vanished?!"

_How could I?_

"It came to the point she thought you were **dead**."

You looked at Saeyoung in shock. "Dead?!" So... They think you are dead now? "Y-yes..." He gave you a big smile. "Well, she will cry tears of happiness when she finds out that you are--"

"No."

"Wha-"

"You will not tell anyone about me."

His eyes grew wide. "B-but-" He stuttered. "It's better if they don't know." You believed your voice was now colder than before.

_I'm doing it again._

"I'll go to bed now." You stood up and walked into the direction of the guest room, holding Hyejin tightly in your arms.

"(Y/n). I.. I have one last question I'd like to ask." You stopped your movements but didn't look back at him. "Who... Who is that child's father?"

...

_Running away from all my problems._

_..._

"Goodnight, Saeyoung."

* * *

"Where the fuck have you been?" The mans voice startled the woman in the dark. As the lights went on, she flinched. "I- I thought.. you were already sleeping..?" She said, not looking at him, but the wall. "I'd be grateful if you'd answer my question." He plainly said, crossing his arms. "I just visited a friend. Nothing special."

"..." The lingering silence made the woman nervous.

"I- will go to bed now. Goodnight." She began walking through the halls of the small apartment. As he heard the door being closed shut, he gave out an angry sigh and put on his jacket. He already wore shoes so he went straight for the door after that.

Cold air hit his skin, but it didn't bother him.

He pulled out a small pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of his pocket, lighting his first cigarette in a while tonight. This definitely won't be the last one in the next few hours, he thought, as he made his way through the empty streets.

 

 

 

You felt your eyelids growing heavy with each second passing. It was about 1am now, and instead of sleeping like every normal person, you decided to stay up and watch your daughter. It wasn't only because you had no safe place to put her, but because you never intended to sleep tonight anyways. You did this often, just staying awake to watch the small child sleeping peacefully.

You hated this.

Only because of her, you can't look him in the eye anymore. But at the same time, she is bringing you happiness and is with you when you are lonely. What monster would hate someone like this?

The ringing doorbell quickly caught your attention. Who would visit at this time? Okay- Yeah, you were an exception. Another ring ripped you out of your thoughts again. _Seems like Saeyoung is sleeping very tight. I'll just look._

You stood up and made your way out of the room after giving Hyejin a last glance. She seemed fine so you were sure you could leave her for a few minutes. You slowly walked through the dark corridors to get to the entrance of Saeyoungs home, where apparently someone was waiting. The cameras for outside were somehow connected to Saeyoungs computers but you didn't know how to access them, so you straight out just opened the door.

.

.

.

You wished you haven't.

As soon as the door was opened, your eyes met with mint green ones, the same which you saw in each of those many nights. He first looked at you irritated, but then a smirk formed on his lips. "No way." He chuckled. "Does my brother finally has a girlfriend or what?"

_Saeyoung was right. I must've changed a lot._

As much as you wanted to throw a brick at him and shut the door close so damn much you couldn't. You just stared, completely emotionless, eyes never leaving him. Not even when his eyes grew wide as realization hit him.

"Wa- Wait." His hands cupped your still emotionless face, and he looked down at you with a shocked expression. "(y/n)?? It- It is you right??" You could see tears welling up in his eyes. "Where have you been?? What happened??? You look so exhausted!!" He's probably just acting. "Were you eating properly?? Do you sleep enough?-- Wait did I wake you?!" Why would he waste tears for someone as pathetic as you?

"I've been doing well, Saeran." You gave him a soft smile, even when it was nothing but a mask that was bringing you sorrow. His own mouth formed into a slight smile and he embraced you tightly. "W-We thought you were kidnapped or dead or something..."

"..."

 

 

"So. If I got this right you went out of town all by yourself and **forgot** to tell anyone." He cocked an eyebrow as he looked at you shifting uncomfortably in your seat on the couch. "Yes. I wanted to call my sister but I lost my phone. After that I planned on asking someone to make a call for me but the mess around me just let me forget."

"Mhm." He crossed his arms and leaned back into the back of the couch. Closing his eyes he frowned. "You know..." He began. "I'm not believing any of what you said just now because it simply sounds like complete bullshit." You froze. _Shit._

"So, tell me the truth. Now." You didn't gave him a response to that. All you wanted was to get away from him right now. You weren't sure why, but you felt so much hatred for him, it was unbearable. So you stood up, and aimed to walk out of the room. He quickly caught you with that and yanked himself up to his feet.

"H-Hey!! Where are you going?!" You stopped your movements and turned around to look at him. "I'm tired, didn't you want to talk to Saeyoung?"

He walked closer to what resulted you walking backwards away from him. As your back hit the wall a faint gasp escaped your mouth, not long after that both of his hands were slammed at the wall next to your head, trapping you between him and the wall.

"Stop it." He looked at you with a concerned frown. "This isn't you, (y/n)."

_How would you know?  
_

Inching closer, he pressed his body against yours, pressing you even tighter against the wall. His hand moved from the wall to your face, taking your chin between his thumb and index finger. You looked into his eyes and what you saw made you panic.

His eyes looked darker than ever and were filled with lust. Not even seconds after your eyes met, his lips were over yours once again after all. He forcefully pushed his tongue into your mouth, the faint taste of cigarettes still lingered. It was just like then. You wanted to push him away, but at the same time pull him closer than ever.

You then realized, the hate you felt and thought was directed to him, it was the hate you felt towards yourself. You hated yourself for just leaving, for not fighting over him, for not telling him how you really felt. All this time you thought you hated him and your sister while it actually was just envy. You missed him. You missed his presence, his smell, his touch. You missed just everything about him.

As the kiss deepened, you threw your arms around his neck pulling him down. You only wanted more, you wanted to mark him, you wanted to taste him, you wanted to feel him buried deep inside you once more.

...

...

...

A child's cry ripped you out of your sinful fantasies.

Saeran looked at you questionable as you pulled away. Your eyes were wide when you actually realized what you were doing here.

_This is wrong._

_Saeran and MC are married._

_What the hell am I doing._

_Hyejin..._

_She's..._ _All.. Alone..._

The sudden push you gave the man in front of you must have startled him, since he almost fell backwards to the ground. However, you didn't quite thought about that and ran in direction of the guest room without hesitation, not wanting to let your daughter suffer more in her loneliness.

You could hear Saeran right behind you but you didn't care. When you were almost there, the crying suddenly stopped. You felt your broken heart beating faster than ever. Why did she stop crying?! Did something happen?!

Totally out of breath, you kicked the door open, the view made you sigh in relief between the heavy breaths.

Hyejin was peacefully playing with the disheveled clothes of her uncle, who was holding her tiredly in his arms.

You slowly approached them, holding your hands out to take her back into your care. As you held her close to your chest again,  Saeyoung put a hand on your shoulder. "You should sleep too, you know." His tone was tired and worried. He must have known you haven't slept once tonight. Before he left he only wished both of you a good night, you felt guilty about keeping him up so much.

You didn't know what Saeran was doing after his brother left. Hell, you were scared to look at him right now. There was no lie you could make up that would explain the tiny child that looked like him. This was it. You had to face the consequences of your doings.

"(Y/n)..?" You heard his footsteps getting closer. "You.. Have a child..?!" 

_I guess, after all, I can't run away anymore._

His warm hands rested on your shoulder.

_This is all my fault._

Now standing next to you, he stared into the eyes of your daughter. At first she only stared back, but soon after she began to laugh like she never did before. It seemed as if this was the first time in her life she experienced true happiness. It was heart warming.

You angled your head slightly into his direction, thinking he'd be glaring at you. But, to your surprise, he looked quite sad. You were sure it wasn't because of Hyejin's laughter.

The silence made you uncomfortable, so you broke it, like so often "A- Are you okay..?" His eyes never left her.

"Who.. Who is the father..?"

_What?_

You froze. He didn't even gets the idea that he is the one? Were all those doubts only created through your anxiety and she doesn't look too much like him? You could easily just--

"Dada!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lololol.   
> There's probably gonna be one chapter left sooo...   
> And oh god I had MUCH self-doubt while writing this holy crap :')))  
> I still feel like this is complete shit but whatev  
> Do u like it? ;o;


	6. AUGUST 24 UPDATE!!!! PLS READ ;o;

 

 **Update [[August/24/17]]** So, sorry for the long lack of activity for the past two months, but I just felt extremely discouraged to write literally anything ;-; it just seemed so useless to me I didn't want to do it. I still got a little writing block but I'll try to get into it again ;v; hope u liked the new chapter even tho I don't 

bye bye ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

* * *

 

 

 

 **Update [[June/18/17]] ** Lol I'm gonna use this as my "Michelle is talking shit"- chapter haha Sooo... There has been a little update! I posted the first ending!! Yayyy ;w; **  
**

I want to thank everyone who has been putting up with my shit and cheering me up in the last few weeks, it really helped me a lot to regain a little bit of my self esteem. I'm still troubling with what has happened but I'm getting over it a bit. So, what I wanted to ask today is if any of you had suggestions for the next two endings! :3 It doesn't matter if they don't make any sense, but one has to do with reader leaving the city forever, and one for the chapter after "Dada". ;v;

You can go to [this poll](https://goo.gl/forms/jNYWQKuNFiUBXOD53) for a little more information or you can just comment under this chapter i dunno :')) (go to the poll :)))))

I'll try to let these suggestions inspire me since I currently have no ideas lol.  okie! bye~ ^^

* * *

 

 **[June/3/17]** Yes I know and I'm sorry nothing is updating but I've been going through an awful time lately and just don't feel like writing. I have literally no inspiration and if I do write I just sit there before my laptop thinking about how worthless I am. I did write some paragraphs for other works but I just can't see it as something I can be proud of. Everything I do makes me think bad about myself so I kind of let myself rest from writing or drawing for the next two days or so.

Anyways, the thing I wanted to discuss is if this story should have a good or a bad ending. I made a poll so you can vote.

**https://goo.gl/forms/kR41B0tsTW0hz8o62**

I wanna thank everyone who has been reading this story and giving me feedback or suggestions ^^ It really means a lot to me <3

**Author's Note:**

>  ~~U never said it had to be Saeran x Reader ;')))) I'm so sorry~~  
>  This was supposed to have a happy ending haha  
> This is kinda halfassed but well i kinda lost my inspiration at the end ¯\\_༼ ಥ ‿ ಥ ༽_/¯  
> I wanna know what you think pls tell meh :')


End file.
